Continuity is The New Hitler

It hasn't rained this much since the Holocaust.

Seriously, look it up.

Filming this week has been a challenge... it's moving forward, but it's been very challenging. A little juxtaposition as to the reasons, if you will.



For those of you who can't read, choose not to, or whose reading glasses are either too far away or mistakenly shoved into the toaster, I will break down the above image for you.

Pictured above is the weather forecast for this coming week - Tuesday the 29th until Sunday the 3rd. Looks nice, doesn't it? Shit, maybe we should film a movie this week?

But wait; filming started last week and... uh huh, yes, this week wasn't at all part of last week so, naturally, neither was the weather. Fine and dandy right? Weather's been okay lately, hasn't it?

No. No it hasn't.

Below is The Weather Network's forecast for last week, the week we've been filming during.


As you can see, things started out on a mostly shitty note, progressing through scattered tornados and a Class 3 Killstorm with chances of Apocalypse. Then, on Saturday, Jesus showed up during the second coming [which by the way is Hell on the eyes]. Finally, Sunday [coincidentally, I assure you] was Revelation - and shit, did it rain like a bitch. I guess He just wasn't happy with another sunny day for the big moment; had to go and ruin everyone elses shit in the process. Thanks God. Thanks a lot.

Either way, it's been a particularly stressful week.

It's been wet. It's been bleak. Kids are annoying. Residents are annoying. And above everything stands one issue greater than the sum of each of its counterparts - an issue that, each and every day, grabs my balls and won't let go until I'm screaming like an angel at premarital conception.

This issue... is continuity.

You know as a kid when you played with your parent's shitty video camera and made homemade movies that, by comparison, turned Canadian TV into fucking gold? Remember those days? Well remember how awe-struck you were by your shitty ability to create "magic" by turning the camera off, removing something from the frame, and then turning it back on again to make that object vanish? Of course you do.

1985 YOU: Holy shit, it disappeared!!

Now try, for a moment, to pull yourself back into the present day. Hard, wasn't it? You're making a film [this time aspiring to at least the level of Canadian television], and the absolute last thing that you want in this film is outdated 'magic' tricks worming their way into the production.

Well, let me tell you something: keeping them out, especially with child actors, is a magic act unto itself.

Without fail, every 30 seconds some prop is in some child's hand either acting as something to shake or something to throw, and always acting as distraction. Within the first 2o minutes of shooting on day 1, the "lemonade pitcher" had been spilled [all over a P.O.S. cardboard lemonade stand, by the way] no less than two times.

Spilled in its entirety.

After cleaning up, re-shooting, re-shooting, re-framing, re-shooting, and re-shooting, I realized that the pitcher of 'lemonade' and the lemons themselves were not yet supposed to be in the film.

CUT, scratch that.

I'd wipe my ass with the film, but since it's strong enough to tow a car I don't want to find out what it'd do to my poor, poor sphincter.

Two more days of filming, but I'm pushing for a few more because of the rain. Continuity may be Hitler... but the rain is his Gestapo.

Hail Sun!!